Take a look at that! Dracula don’t look a day over 500! And Dracula still got all the moves too. Just because Dracula cooped up in some old nursing home don’t mean Dracula ain’t shakin’ his groove thang! MMMM!
Oh, OW! Dracula think Dracula threw out his back! No worries! Dracula knows just the solution!
Oh that’s right! Dracula got his own Nano! This pretty little thang got almost all the groovin’ the real Dracula got. Nano Dracula just happens to be younger than Dracula, so he can go longer, that’s all. Nano Dracula is one of those Blasty type Nanos or whatever. Dexter wasn’t good at explainin’ nothing, that dummy. Far as Dracula understands, that means Nano Dracula can beat the snot out of those Cosmic dummies, but he needs to be careful around those Adapter punks! Dracula think stupid rock, paper, scissors is for baby dummies!
Y’know what really grinds Dracula’s gears? Some fool took Dracula’s old cape and is trying to IMPERSONATE Dracula! This creep also don’t got no rhythm! He can’t come close to Dracula’s grooves, and he don’t look a thing like Dracula. He looks like some cheap knock off or somethin’. Dracula’s gonna need your help to find his hideout in Eternal Meadows and teach him the proper scrape and lick technique! I bet this dummy think Dracula sucks!
Dracula’s got some sort of stupid developer note he’s supposed to read off here.
“Fusions’ eyes are now a proper glowing red, unlike the original FusionFall’s transparent orange. We’ve also changed Fusion Matter to look more glowy and goopy, and it now has a proper toon outline! We primarily based these changes off of promotional artwork, such as the loading screen.”
The heck is that stuff supposed to mean?! These developers seem like a bunch of dummies.
Dracula’s got lots of jobs for you to do when you get your sorry butts over to Eternal Vistas. That jerk Bloo up in City Point thinks it’s funny to play jokes on Dracula! He won’t even let Dracula play with his dumb games console! Dracula’s also feeling thirsty. Make yourself useful and go get Dracula a glass of water, will ya? Dracula’s also got a corner on the dog shampoo market. Some ugly kid in the cul-de-sac taught Dracula how to get rich quick, so Dracula bought up all the dog shampoo this side of City Hall! Some weirdo kid with a hair disorder at the nuclear plant seems interested in what Dracula has to offer, but Dracula hasn’t made a single taro yet!
Looks like this is all the time Dracula’s got. Now now, don’t get all teary eyed on Dracula. Dracula just cleaned this suit! Tell you what, Dracula’s gonna stick around for a while on the forums and see what’s up. You dummies alright in Dracula’s book.
Now don’t this look familiar? What a couple of dummies!